The Moment We Knew It Was Official With Every Taylor Swift Boyfriend
Everyone has endured/suffered through this dating milestone. It’s the moment where two lovers go from people who like hanging out to people who are in a Relationship. Capital R intended. Perhaps no one knows this tradition better than Taylor Swift .
As pop music’s resident hopeless romantic, she’s gone through the stages of a relationship time and time again—and all in the public eye. Unfortunately for anyone with even the slightest busybody tendencies, most of the actual wheelings and dealings of this conscious couplings go on behind the scenes, and the world at large is forced into a dizzying spin of dating conjecture.
The answer, of course, is a resounding no.
But it has to be said that Taylor’s fans (and those of us who do this for a living) have actually managed to be pretty accurate when it comes to predicting what the heck is going on with her new guys. What can we say? It takes a hopeless romantic to know one.
She was also tasked with introducing the JoBros’ performance (they sang “Lovebug”), and the moment was certainly not lost on fans. But truly, the biggest draw was this here pose. Their body language says, we’re young, we’re in love, but we’re also kind of in that awkward stage where we don’t really know how we should be acting in public.
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Lines like “Don’t you think I was too young to be messed with” and “You’re an expert at sorry and keeping the lines blurry” and of course the eponymous chorus of “Dear John, I see it all now that you’re gone” painted one picture and one picture only. Taylor Swift and John Mayer were in a relationship and he was a total d–k to her, if you’ll pardon our French.
Thus began a whirlwind of retroactive interpretation of everything either of them had done for the last six months. How did we miss this? Why didn’t we realize what was going on? What is wrong with us, and more importantly, what is wrong with John Mayer?
We can still see the Us Weekly cover now. They looked outrageously happy, high off the inordinate amount of sugar in those maple lattes, celebrating the Thanksgiving holiday the only way to lovers in Brooklyn know how: buying overpriced fair trade cheese at the Union Market.
This revelation of their conscious and serious coupling (they spent Thanksgiving together, for Pete’s sake!) led to a fever pitch of Jake and Taylor obsession, which was only intensified months after the relationship ended, thanks to All Too Well. How lucky we were to have witnessed, photographically, the day The Scarf went missing.
There were a few gossip-y rumblings and a sighting here and there at the beginning of the ill-fated relationship, but we became convinced that things were for real once Taylor was spotted in Hyannis Port, otherwise known as Kennedy Sacred Land. They wouldn’t allow just anyone on such hallowed grounds—if a person is allowed onto the compound, then it’s definitely a relationship. One must be ingratiated with the great Ethel Kennedy to even dream of being allowed to touch their many artifacts.
Back in December of that year, the world stopped spinning for a brief moment. Taylor Swift and Harry Styles were spotted strolling through Central Park playing mom and dad to an adorable pig-tailed baby. Whose baby was it? Did they steal this baby? These are questions for which we didn’t care the answer. All we cared about was the fact that Tarry (Haylor? Swyles? We’ll work on it.) was real.
They had a straight-up super romantic day and the paparazzi captured all of it, from the leaf-peeping to the seal show at the zoo. This was one of those times that we were so thankful for the paps.
We knew these two were shacking up, to some degree, well before this telling Instagram, but no one knew quite how serious it was. But once Calvin made it onto Taylor’s Sacred Insta feed, the jig was up.
Just look at them—cozied up, enjoying the beautiful sunny weather, indulging in the age-old pasttime of fashionable floaties. If that doesn’t say “official relationship,” we don’t know what does.
The moment came as quite a shock to pretty much every single human alive, since it was the first we had ever heard of their coupling. To the public, Hiddleswift went from two relative strangers to a super serious couple in a few clicks of a camera shutter.